Bar jokes for non-English majors

bluebird of bitterness

Ever since I published Bar jokes for English majors and More bar jokes for English majors, I’ve been thinking that, in the interest of inclusiveness, I ought to run a collection of bar jokes for people who, for whatever reason, majored in something other than English. Here’s what I came up with:

❧HISTORY: Julius Caesar walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. “You mean a martini?” says the bartender. Caesar replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for a double.”

❧PSYCHOLOGY: Pavlov walks into a bar. Just as he sits down, his phone rings, and Pavlov says, “Oh crap! I forgot to feed the dogs.”

❧MATH: An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. Before the fourth can speak, the bartender puts two beers…

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The idea, friends, is to grab the book you are currently reading, copy two or three random sentences as a tease to get someone else to read the book too. As a big Stephen King fan, I am reading one published in 2013 which answers the question, “Whatever happened to the little boy in The Shining who had “special abilities.” Danny or Dan, as he goes by as an adult, is having a hard time of it, to put it mildly. As part of his “shine-ability,” he uses his gift for good in a nursing hospice where he is known as Dr. Death, not because he participates in euthanasia, but because he eases peoples’ minds in their last moments. It is one way he can make up for a wasted life lost in drugs and alcohol. From King’s Dr. Death:

“Dan Torrance knew he would be living in the turret…

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